Free! Ebb and Flow Chapter 18

Chapter 18

            School had started up again with 5 days left until the prefectural tournament and the swim team was thrilled to see that Haru had reached a new best time. However even with Haru’s progress the team was still lacking. Gou insisted that they should find a proper coach; Haru on the other hand was against the idea, saying that it was unnecessary. As much as Tay enjoyed watching Haru her mind continued to focus on Mai. Turning to Mel with a worrisome look, Tay walked away from the group, signaling for her to follow. “You doing okay?” Mel asked, already knowing the answer. “Yeah I guess it just doesn’t feel the same without Mai around ya know?” Tay sighed, looking up into the sky. “Yeah... I have to admit that I am worried as well, it’s been a while so I hoped she would have recovered by now,” Mel stated. “Sometimes trauma takes a long time to overcome, when something comes up that triggers a memory it’s like you are reliving it.” Tay spoke as she fixed her gaze on the ground. Mel just smiled gently; she knew that Mai wasn’t the only person she was referring to. “Well opening up about it is a sign of wanting to face it right?” Tay looked at the kind features on Mel’s face. It too took her a while to talk to Mel and Mai about things. Tay felt reassured, however long it took Mai to open up to them didn’t matter, they would be there waiting no matter what.

            The following day at lunch Gou showed the team the developed pictures from the training camp. Looking through the photos, Tay couldn’t help but blush after seeing so many pictures of her and Haru together. Gou gave her a nod, subtly informing Tay that she had made copies for her. Placing her hands together in gratitude, Tay mouthed out ‘thank you.’ “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Mai isn’t in as many of the photos...” Makoto spoke out loud. “She hasn’t been to school since it started up again either...” Nagisa added, his face clearly showing how worried he was. “Don’t worry you guys, Mai will be back soon I guarantee it!” Mel smiled, trying lift everyone’s spirits. “Right, hey take a look at this photo!” Tay responded, going along with Mel’s plan. “Uwaa Haru is making such a funny face!” Nagisa laughed, “It’s so rare for Haru to actually look at the camera!” Makoto added with a chuckle. “This photo... I look so... It’s just not beautiful!” Rei complained, making the girls and Nagisa burst into laughter. “Ah there is something behind Makoto in this photo!” Nagisa informs, causing Makoto to freak out, hiding behind Haru. “Guys it’s just Amakata Sensei wearing a cleansing mask!” Gou pointed out, the girls once again couldn’t help but laugh.

            It was dinnertime and Tay was humming to herself as she tossed her salad. Looking outside, her heart sunk in an instant. Her mother was there, placing boxes on her front door. It was pretty obvious to Tay what was in those boxes, everything of hers that remained at her mother’s house. Feeling her heart plummet, Tay came to the conclusion that it was best not to go outside and make contact. Really this behavior of her mothers was so childish, it was like returning the belongings of an ex. Placing her utensils down, Tay decided to leave the kitchen until her mother had left, when through the window their eyes made contact. It was over now... Tay had to go out, whether it would make the situation worse or not didn’t matter. After all how much worse could it get?

            Opening the door to outside made Tay feel physically sick, she had no idea how her mother was going to react and the tension was high. “I was just dropping off a few of your things,” her mother spoke in a very calm and polite tone. The kind of tone she used when she wanted to distance herself from her emotions. It was clear to Tay that her mother didn’t intend on running into her either. “Thanks...” Tay spoke, awaiting the awkward silence she knew would come. “Well goodbye,” her mother broke the tension with simple yet painful words. “Yeah...” Tay responded, fighting to hold back tears as her mother walked away. Was it really this easy for her mother to walk away? Was her pride really worth more to her then her own daughter? Leaving the boxes at the front door, Tay runs back inside as the tears start to fall from her eyes. Slamming the door shut, Tay returns to the kitchen. Looking at her half finished dinner preparations, she pulls out her phone, sending a text to her father. She wanted him to come home, to move those boxes out of her sight. Hitting the send button she continues to prepare dinner, only this time the tears continue to stream down her face. Breaking down crying, she was unable to hold back her feelings anymore.

            Makoto stepped outside when he noticed a woman leaving Tay’s place. It appeared that this woman was her mother. For some reason Tay never mentioned her mother, in fact Makoto knew nothing about the woman. What caught his attention was the sad look that crossed Tay’s face before running back inside her house. If Makoto saw correctly, there were tears in Tay’s eyes. The door slammed shut and Makoto shifted his attention to the pile of boxes outside. Did her mother leave those for her? He may have no information to go by, however one thing was clear to him. Tay had a complicated relationship with her mother for sure.  He felt his heart ache, Tay always seemed so cheerful... just how much pain was she hiding behind that gentle smile of hers?

            Tay didn’t want to bring up what had happened the previous day, after all everyone had enough going on. They didn’t need her problems on top of everything. Throughout the day, it was becoming obvious to everyone that Tay was quite down. She would look off into space with a sad look and took a while to respond when someone called out to her. Haru was extremely worried, the little smile she would give everyone when they asked if she was okay, was not the smile he knew. It was a cover... a cover to hide how she was feeling so the others wouldn’t worry. Something that was just like Tay to do. Makoto on the other had continued to gaze at her with a look of concern, more so then he would normally do. Haru couldn’t help but wonder if he knew something the others didn’t. At lunch Haru was surprised that Makoto was the one to pull him aside to talk. “So do you have any idea what is going on with Tay?” Haru asked, giving Makoto an anxious look. “Well I can’t say for sure but last night I saw a woman leaving Tay’s place. If I had to guess, she appeared to be Tay’s mother.” Makoto informed, Haru’s eyes widened. He had never thought about it before but as much as Tay would talk about her father, she never once mentioned her mother. Haru wasn’t one to talk about his personal life so he would never pry, but he had guessed that her parents had split up. “So you think that is why she seems so down today?” Haru inquired, Makoto looked quite sad himself. “It looked like her mother stopped by to drop off some boxes. I didn’t witness their conversation, I only saw her mother leaving... but... after she left I saw Tay run back into her house and it looked like she was crying.” Makoto spoke, his fist clenched. “I see...” Haru responded, he didn’t need to say anymore. It was clear now that last night was connected to Tay’s behavior today.

            After school Tay went along with Mel and Makoto to visit Mai. Even if Tay was having a hard time focusing, a distraction would still have been better then going home. Mai seemed to look a bit cheerier then before; she informed the others that the reason for her absence              today was just her being precautious. “Don’t worry, I will be back at school tomorrow.” She smiled, relieving some worry from Makoto’s face. “That’s good, it’s not the same without you around, right Tay?” Mel stated, turning to look at Tay. Hearing no response, Tay’s eyes looked cold and empty, not full of her normal sparkle. “Tay?” Mai questioned, concerned that Tay didn’t grin and refresh her with a chipper response. “Ah sorry, I think I’m just a bit tired.” Tay jumped back to the conversation, hoping no one was catching on to her depression. “Why don’t I walk you home then? Makoto can you keep Mai company then?” Mel winked, causing Makoto to start blushing and stutter. “Ah er sure, no problem!” He responded, Tay gave a genuine smile.

            When Tay arrived back at her house, it was quiet and empty. Seeing the boxes that her father had brought inside made her stomach turn. It wasn’t as though she wanted to, but she did have to go through these boxes eventually. Bending down to open the lid of the top box, Tay felt her eyes start to sting. Reaching down she pulled out a plush toy, not just any plush but the first toy she was given. It was old and tattered but held so many memories. “Kuma...” Tears fell from her eyes, holding it tightly in her arms, waves of past memories continued to flood her mind. Seeing the old family photo albums hit her like a brick... her mother was able to give all of these up so easily? Flipping them open, seeing the photo’s of her as a baby with her smiling mother dealt a devastating blow. She needed to leave, needed to get some fresh air to clear her mind. Leaving everything behind Tay ran down to the ocean. Siting on the stone ledge she watched as the waves crashed into the shore. Even being able to feel the cool air and the ocean breeze on her skin wasn’t enough; she was still unable to stop crying. She felt alone, felt helpless, so helpless that all she could do was sing a gentle melody she always loved.